Today as been extremely mixed. With everyday, it get harder to find something to talk about, without becoming even more tedious.

What do you guys out there think about cynicism?

I always thought that I was a cynic! however, in the past few weeks I've met a real cynic, no matter what you do they seem to think that they are right about a certain subject. Regardless of the actions and the words spoken in sincerity by a person they have apparently grown close to. Do we ever recover from cynicism? or does it taint our lives through so that in the end we end up lonely. We have all been hurt, haven't we? some of us more then others. The scars never go away, but they heal don't they? I know that you never forget the pain, but surely when you find someone that lays themselves bare to what they feel and how they want to be with you; what they want from you, you know, surely that, that feeling of knowing your not going to be hurt by that person grows. I wonder though, do we run from this feeling? Does it scare us? Is it that we need time to adjust to the way we feel? and inadvertently hurt that person. How many loves are lost like this? How many stand tall, forgive and make it work because of that mutual attraction. Seeing through the facade to the truth? The work comes though in getting that cynic to drop their facade. Someone said to this person, who thinks every woman will hurt him, "....true love produces a real woman though.... If the love is strong the woman wouldn't want to find something else". Why can men never see the truth, why can't they be a man and admit when they have acted wrongly and made a mistake? Why is it the woman who has to try and fight tooth and nail, sweat blood and tears to keep what they know to be right.

What makes a real woman? I am sure we all have our own views. What makes a woman the exception? This woman that this person seems to be looking for. I wonder shall we help him realise... or if he cannot listen to a very close friend and the woman that cares so deeply for him its beyond comprehension, is there a point? Well, not always the optimist, rarely the optimist, I think there is a point. The reason: I hate to see people making mistakes. So, lets start at the beginning, and see if you women out there agree with me. Given that my experience of these things is brand new, and majorly based on ROM Com's and classic and modern literature it may be a little over simplified, romantic and dream like. After all, I have Lizzie Bennett and Cathy or mentors. Nonetheless, I also have my own views and in my esteemed opinion, a real woman is the following ...

She will always be there for the man that she loves, never judge, always listen and advise, when he needs it. To be able to chat about the issues important to you both or just about the day to day chat . Thus building the relationship to be deeper and thus build the bond that the two share.
She will hold him when he is in despair or just needs her, after all there is nothing better then holding and being held by the one you love. Is there? She is there to comfort him as he his for her when you need it. Or indeed be there to hold him when you just want to know that there is someone there to keep the company, and the loneliness away.
She will allow him the time he needs away from her with his friends (along as she always come first though!!!!) After all, there is nothing worse then being in each others pockets and giving up all other parts of your life. The balance must be found though!!!!
She will always be honest with him, as this is the key to never hurting him. Honesty is at the base of it, a relationship is nothing without that honesty, and it stops misunderstandings from occurring and then the inevitability of unnecessary hurt happening.
She will be there for him when she knows that just her presence is enough and there is no need for words. Just her smile and her touch.
She will make him realise his mistake when he cannot see the wood for the trees and
cannot see that he is being illogical or indeed unreasonable. If he is overacting. She will be there to let him know how she feels when he feels threatened as he should be for her.
She would teach him about love as he would her, when appropriate using her body like a womb. We all know that sex is not the be all and end all but it is integral. It is important for her as well as him for her to be a different woman where sex is the topic of the day. Its as I said previously, why should women be subservient to sex. They should embrace it as men do, but men need to know, inevitably it will mean more to a woman in the long run.
She would always be herself, never changing herself for him, so that she never ended up resenting him. Individualism and identity are as important as being one....
She will know him better then he knows himself...

I told you it had been a strange day. I thought this up, when in the heat of the afternoon and early evening as the sun lowered in the sky, the shadows lengthened but the heat remained, I walked for three hours from my freedom to my prison. It was if I was the only woman nay, person in the world. Things seemed new, as my mind transported to a time when everything instead of just Gweilo made me smile. When life gifted me with something that I now have to fight to keep hold of and seem to be in limbo unsure of how that scenario will work out. The mind like life is cruel. Our mental DVD player, I Pod and photo album. It allows us to remember things that made us happy, it makes us remember things that caused us pain, it retains things that make us smile at times when while we smile we also want to cry. In time it makes us forget the clarity of things when we desperately want to. So what our only option record things for prosperity and hope they work out. "close my eyes and the flashbacks started.. that you were Romeo...you were throwing pebbles and my mummy said stay away from Juliet...and I said Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone... you are everything to me... this love is difficult but its real...we'll make it out of this mess...wondering if your ever coming around...I've been feelings so alone, is this in my head I don't know what to think" I Believe in this now and always. why do we dream of what was, has been, is and what is to come... lets hope we can make what is to come better then what is now....