Yesterday, the end of an era - twenty three years in the making and its over in just ten minutes. Amazing, how such a feeling can come about and be such a shock. After all, you know that its gonna happen, in a way you prepare yourself and yet when it happens, when the day arrives, the confirmation is given. It is like a bullet hitting you straight through the head between the eyes. Well, they say that shit hit you threes, well, I have had my three and so can I therefore, have my good three. Two out of three "shits" an be sorted "rectified" you could say, so hurry up and get sorted.



Amazing, how things can feel so strange when your on your own. A hack in the woods with nothing but the sun and a slight breeze and the I pod breaking the silence through the ear plugs that balance precariously in your ears can give you the chance to escape. I'm sure we've all done that haven't we? Daydreamed! Imagined scenarios that we would have like to be reality, or indeed what we would have liked to have seen happen. Or am I just going in to psychosis mode? Second thoughts, answer that only at your own peril. God how I dream, my mind wanders and they seem so real, it would be hard to suggest otherwise. What if we could choose between our own reality and our own dreams. Life would always be good then wouldn't it? or would it? Would we want it to be good. After all, don't they say that we learn about life through the shit that happens in our lives, that we learn about life through these events. Well, my opinion is! That's BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!Complete BULLSHIT.


Ever read something, and wondered what it means. Ever thought that it had a sense of ambiguity and asked yourself about whether it had been constructed that way, or whether you are just reading in that way, asking yourself to analyse what you are reading too much. Ever wanted to respond to what you are reading, because it sums up exactly how you are feeling, but fear to respond for fear of any judgments or repercussions that would damage your self esteem more then what it has been damaged already. Or indeed, damage the situation you find yourself in more then what you want it to.

You could say that, having taken the advise of a new found friend, well, you hope that it what they are, anyway, that it works, if only for a while you forget the shit that surrounds you. You forget everything and for a while you escape the world you live in. That for a few minutes you can forget everything. But, my God, doesn't it make you feel bloody awful when you are forced to return to that world and the rut you find yourself in.

Will the tests be good or will they just procure more shit....